Affair leads to Murder in PA

The crime that police described sounded as though it were ripped from the pages of a pulp-fiction novel.

A suburban mother, stuck in an unsatisfying marriage, takes up with a young worker at her husband's landscaping company.

Secretly, they plot her husband's murder. The young laborer tries to poison his boss' lemonade, then beats him with a shovel before burying the body in a field. The woman tells everyone her husband simply left. The paramours plant diversions: She signs on to Facebook and changes his profile. The lover sends her phony texts from the dead man's phone. But the questions build. First from relatives. Then from police. So does the pressure.

Their plan unraveled Friday, Chester County authorities said, when 34-year-old Morgan Marie Mengel admitted to conspiring to kill Kevin Mengel Jr., 33, the father of her three children, and told them where to find his body.

But Morgan Mengel wasn't happy, she told police, according to an affidavit from West Goshen Detective David Maurer.

She said she and Shappell began their affair in March. Weeks later, they hatched their scheme - "so they could be together," according to the affidavit.

Read more: http://www.philly.com/inquirer/front_page/20100628_Affair_led_to_husband_s_slaying__Chesco_woman_tells_police.html#ixzz0sExaqmC9
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Read more: http://www.philly.com/inquirer/front_page/20100628_Affair_led_to_husband_s_slaying__Chesco_woman_tells_police.html#ixzz0sEw9bWoR
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Well, it looks as though there was no way for this to end anything but badly. The landscaper guy was 21, the lady at 34 with three kids.

From the standpoint of the original marriage: They were married when she was 22 and he was 21, probably too young. She filed for divorce in 2004 but then withdrew the petition after that, that would have made her about 27 or 28....

The couple worked together on the landscaping business, had three kids..... no talk of education..

So, you can see this frustrated suburban mom, stuck in this landscaping business, it would be pretty easy to have financial trouble, although the article does not suggest it.... you could see depression or mental illness being the root cause.....

She grasps on to some young landscaper, a partier, as a link to her fading youth....

But who hatched the murder plot.... and which one of them had the thought disorder....that thought they could murder this guy, send texts out, update is facebook page..... there are so many questions.

Is Infidelity Always Bad for a Marriage?

Infidelity is always bad for a marriage, right? Not necessarily, according to Esther Perel, who challenges conventional wisdom about marriage and sex in her controversial book Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. Babble spoke with the New York-based therapist about the changing notions of infidelity — especially online — and what it means for parents in particular.

What misconceptions do people have about infidelity?

People assume that having affairs points to a flaw in the marriage and that it's a symptom of something gone awry, that if the relationship was fine, this wouldn't happen. But there are multiple meanings and motives for infidelity. Some of them are the consequence of dissatisfied or even abusive situations and bad relationships. But there are a host of infidelities that have nothing to do with the relationship. The majority of adulterers are reasonably happy in their marriages.

Why do parents, in particular, seek sex outside of marriage?

One of the things that defines modern couplehood is that we believe there is one relationship for everything and that one person is going to give you what an entire village used to provide. In marriage, we've always wanted to have children and a family life, to have companionship and economic support, and, on top of it, we also want the same person who gives us all that to give us a sense of mystery and excitement and novelty that will help us cross over the mundane and the ordinary.

Read more:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/online-infidelity-special-issue-is-infidelity-always-bad-for-a-marriage-1794658/

Tips to Spot a Cheater

1 2 3 next >> "He cheated with me.  I mean on me," are the words that clumsily slipped from my lips during my dream-come-true fifteen...

Tuesday on Dr. Oz

Depression and Hypersexuality

I thought of this conversation the other day when I bumped into this forum thread:

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/Hypersexual

and there is a lot of literature associating depression and bipolar disorder with hypersexuality.....

In this article, there is reference to hypersexuality being a side effect of some of the treatment for Parkinson's...

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/558276

What I'm saying here is: There may be some other really compelling reason that a person might feel driven to go out and find some physical gratification outside the home....

In my limited experience a lot of these people also have a precipitating event: death, family crisis, other trauma, which might trigger some level of depression.... either the depression itself or the drugs used to treat it are not unheard of to cause a change in sex drive.....and it is pretty clear where this might lead....

Re: Rules for Husbands

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/rnr/1756999451.html

1. Yeah, flowers=love. You work for years and years, taking crap from a halfwit boss, dealing with office politics, and having your brain and body slowly turn into styrofoam trying to put your woman in a house that she can be proud of, you have a fleet of cars in your driveway for her and the kids, you put a big screen TV in her living room and a nice big couch where she can plop down on her wide tail with the remote and watch Oprah talk about how easy men have it, and if you don't buy flowers, it means you don't love her. I get it.

2. Date night: On the way out the door, she said "are you really wearing that?", She complained about the nice, paid for, low mileage car that I am driving, which, I might add, I drive so that I can afford to let her drive the nice one.. She complained about the traffic. She complained about the restaurant being too cold. The food was too spicy. The entertainment was not very good. Yawn, I'm about ready to go home..... Well, it was a real pleasure for me too, miss sunshine..... It's encouragement like that that makes me look forward to every date night.

3. Fat ass: Well, I have no use personally for anyone who calls his wife fatass, but if she puts on her Freshman 15, and then on another 75 popping out your second kid, and then keeps it on for 25 years, while you are at the gym or running trying to stay in some kind of shape, there ought to be some way to communicate to your significant other that she got a little flabby....and really ought to do something about it, rather than sit around and talk about how comfortable she is in her skin, and calling herself a BBW.....

4. D and V, I will have to remember that one. I think it's about 50/50 personally.

5. Sex? Overrated? After 40? Well it all comes down to the partner of course. It is probably true that the male reaches his peak at 18, it's also true that a fit male can still functioning perfectly normally about 10 years longer at the other end of life..... Problem: If you are nagged like a 6-year old during the day, it's hard to act like the stud you are at night.....

6. Menopause? I think that's from the Greek.... meaning "just lay there for a few minutes and it'll be over with before you know it".....

7. Walking fast in public..... I have to say I find myself doing this all the time, being the marathoner, triathloner and weightlifter that I am, but I am always a bit entertained about how long it takes the woman to get into and also out of the car ref: Item 3 above. I suppose it takes awhile to get moving. There's a solution, of course....cut down on the Rocky Road and you will be a little speedier.

8. Cooking.... where to start on this one: best to just let it lie. Not all men are incompetent, boring cooks..... and not all women are brilliant at it either. My main gripe: Me: When is dinner: Her: Six. Me: Okay. I go out for an hour, come back in at 6: Me; Where is dinner: Her: Haven't started it yet. Me: Why? Her: I did not think you would show up at 6. I can start it now. Me: I thought you said it is going to be at 6. Her: Yes.

9. Mixed Messages/Special Occasions: Well, throughout the first 6000 years of human history it was pretty special for a woman to be treated to a nice roof over her head, and some food in the place, and in the modern era, the rest of the package, per the above...It used to be and still is common in some cultures for them to be smacked around a bit for stepping out of line. Around these parts, just a century ago, it was the "barefoot and pregnant" theory.... they were one notch up from property, not even sometimes......So here we are in the modern day, of course we expect a little bit of contribution, but we are still pretty far from "I am woman hear me roar" where everything is completely equal......In either case... I suppose the 364 days of being treated in a way that for women, is the best in human history, is not quite enough to offset the occasional missed birthday or other invention of the Hallmark company or the Rose Grower's association that causes me to feel obligated to go out and buy something to convey my affection. Sorry about that. I'll do better next year.

10. What if the rules don't work? Well, I suppose there are options. To tell the honest truth, I think that once the kids get out the door, marriage ought to be a 1-year option, like it is in the NBA.... If the wife did not want to be dumped in favor of a stripper, she'd stay in shape, treat you like a man, be thankful for the work he did to get you to that point, and be a little better partner. It would do a world of good for the men too. Too many of them are fatass know it alls, with erectile dysfunction and sleep apnea, a lot of that stuff is also caused by being out of shape. If you knew you were likely to get dumped at the end of the year you might try a little harder. At a certain point in her life, a lot of women put up with crap from men because they think they have to, not because they want to..... maybe not so much for the men. Either way, if you had to go to some effort to re-attract your spouse, could you? .....Either way there are alternatives....

Rules for Husbands

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/rnr/1756107120.html


Follow these simple rules for a happy marriage! Easy as pie...remember though don't get discouraged if it isn't effective the first or fifth year of marriage, keep at it and be persistent...eventually it will pay off.

1. From day one of marriage, (contrary to popular belief) never send your wife flowers. Doing so can cause a woman to become harsh and mean. She will eventually evolve to expect this behaviour once every couple months and this is not good for obvious reasons. $ on flowers = less $ on beer. **Note: At all costs, avoid sending your wife flowers at work. Showing them off to friends(especially friends at work with flowers on their desk) will create a very hateful wife.

2. Avoid any opportunity to have a date with your wife, especially a date where there is a PDA. (public display of affection) PDA + date= bitch.

3. No matter your attractiveness or the size and shape of your wife, call her a fat ass at any given opportunity. Early morning hours work best. Women love this. She will be running up to you in a matter of minutes to hug and kiss you as a reward. You may find at first in following this rule your wife will want to run out in rebellion and eat something really fattening like a hot fudge sundae or burrito. Ignore this and continue on until you get your hugs and kisses as a reward.

4. Always remember the D and V rule....having a dick makes you right, having a vagina makes you wrong. This applies in ALL circumstances. Make sure you let your wife know how much you love her by living by this rule. You will reap the rewards....

5. Sex is overrated, at least when you hit 40 it is. You see, men go through their sexual peak at age 18, women between 32 and 38. But sex isn't important to women, just men...at a certain age that is. Us men have already hit our peak and climbed it well, and often...remember when you were 18-25...I do. That was fun, but over now. Whether your wife is 20 or 30, remember accommodating her at this time of her life will make her feel weak and therefore she will turn nasty in a heartbeat. You see she will get mood swings when she gets too much sex. This can't be explained here... until you live the mood swings, you will just have to take my word for it. Withhold and ignore.

6. At some point in your marriage your wife will enter a stage of "menopause" OR she will enter a stage in her life where her hormones become...shall we say "out of whack?" Anyway, this is due to various reasons. If you want to know and familiarize yourself with them, you can find loads of info on Google. I always say, "hormones, smourmones." Your wife really doesn't want to fall prey to hormones and be miserable and irritable, so ignore the problem, call her a bitch, often. Eventually, and I say eventually, the hormones will straighten out. Don't show any concern though or extra attention, especially disobeying rules 1-5. Doing so will cause unwanted irritability.

7. While in public walk really fast and stay steadily paced ahead of your wife. Show your embarrassment to be seen with her. Never introduce her to anyone you know should you run into such a person. This technique dates back to the early ages or even several middle eastern countries this present day and has had proven effectiveness in a long, healthy marriage.

8. Cooking for your wife always keeps her happy. Most women LOVE hamburgers, so cook them often. Especially important: never cook anything she would choose herself.

9. Remember, women love mixed messages. There are two ways to handle special occasions, completely forget or refer to rule 3 and then every time a gift occasion comes up,(Christmas, birthdays, Valentines Day or anniversaries) buy her a 5lb box of chocolates or take her to an all you can eat buffet. She will probably eat mostly salad, so when she gets a bite of real food say something like, " You are gonna eat all that?" She won't be able to keep her hands off of you. Have a fun ride home!

10. Rule number 10, probably should be rule 1, but it makes a better finish. Be very cautious and watch for signs that these rules aren't working for you. My technique works 90 % of the time, (refer to rule 4) but if you happened to be one of the rare 10% of men who did not get lucky enough to marry a cave woman, following these rules could have detrimental effects. If at any time during the first several years you see opposite results, stop and reverse the rules. Continue on reversed rules. The effects shouldn't shouldn't take too long to diminish. If they don't diminish in 4 weeks, threaten physical violence.

Good Luck and Happy Marriage!!!

"The Happy Husband"

***Three marriages strong, I speak from experience!!! It works!!

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