BEHAR: Men like to cheat on their taxes, on their golf scores, on their wives. And most cheating husbands eventually become ex-husbands. But what if allowing your man to stray could save a relationship instead of destroy it?
Enter the concept of negotiated infidelity. Basically it`s cheating with rules. Here to discuss the controversial topic are Stephen A. Smith, nationally syndicated Fox Sports radio host; Noel Biderman, founder and president of ashleymadison.com a Web site that encourages extra marital affairs; and Diana Falzone, relationship expert; and by phone from Australia, Holly Hill, author of "Sugarbabe" and the woman behind this theory.
Holly, you`re on the phone, let me start with you. This is your idea, negotiated infidelity. Now most relationships are based on monogamy. You recommend the opposite, why do you do that?
HOLLY HILL, AUTHOR, "SUGARBABE" (via telephone): Well, negotiated infidelity is about accepting the biology of men and women and using it to work for your relationship rather than against your relationship. I have a little saying, bashing your head against brick walls becomes self- mutilation after a while and that`s really what`s happened to our marriages over the last couple of hundred years, because we have a 50 percent divorce rate.
What this is about is changing the recipe. And it`s about -- really to use an analogy -- walking the dog on a leash rather than letting it escape through a hole in the back fence. And it`s about women taking control of their men`s sexual urges and if a woman needs to cross her legs for any reason, she provides alternatives to her partner so that he isn`t inclined to go out and cheat on her.
And this way, the woman maintains control. And he`s happy and we don`t have a 50 percent divorce rate any more.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1008/04/joy.01.html
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