Rielle and Oprah

After further consideration of this, here is what Rielle appears to be thinking:

a. I had a chance to be First Lady.
b. I really did love John, and still do, and he was not just out to get laid. He was genuinely going to sweep me away and carry me into the Inauguration Ball.
c. Elizabeth is not my problem.
d. At this point, I need to establish some type of career. The posing in my undies in GQ was a start. Now Oprah will raise me a bit in name recognition, I might be able to land some nice gig in a reality show. It works for Kate Gosselin.
e. All of this concealer and other makeup that I am wearing makes it difficult to speak.

Here is what John is thinking:
a. I thought I could get away with it.
b. I was close to being President. I do need to get a job.
c. What was I thinking, re: the Sex Tape? Well, it seemed like fun at the time, and Elizabeth is soooo frumpy.
d. Gotta practice my "looking sorry" for the deposition this week.
e. This is going to be expensive too. Gotta support the spawn, gotta keep Rielle under control..still gotta take care of Elizabeth. Luckily there are 7-figure salaries to be made as bank lobbyists right now, not to mention trial lawyer lobbyists, so I can probably earn a living despite the fact that I have done nothing for 20 years except run for president.

How to Lose your Husband

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/rnr/1712354223.html


1. Gain about 75 pounds when you have your second kid, and don't take it off for 25 years. When your husband tries to bring up the subject, chuckle about it and talk about how comfortable you are in your own skin, etc. etc.

2. Be laying in bed every morning when he gets up before dawn to go to work to his half-assed dead end job, be sitting on the couch every night watching Dr. Phil when he gets home. Extra bonus points: When he leans over to kiss you goodbye, ask him "are you really wearing THAT?" so as to crush his confidence just a little bit as he steps out the door.

3. In light of (2) above, complain about money. Ask him why you do not have the nice things your friends do, go on cruises, etc. Extra points if you have a Master's Degree and are working less than 20 hours a week yourself.

4. In light of (3) above, whenever he get a chance for advancement, or relocation, or has to work a little extra, whine about it, do not support his decision, and refuse to change what you have.

5. Reverse Cheerleading: Whenever he starts on a project, tell him "you will fail". Whenever he succeeds, tell him "you got lucky. You will fail next time."
When he fails, say "I knew you would fail"

6. Show up to bed wearing one of those Christmas sweaters with all of the beads and teddy bears glued to it. If he tries to be intimate, stop in the middle of everything to put the dog on the bed. If the phone rings, answer it.

7. If he gets laid off, start cutting out want ads from the paper and lay them on his desk every morning. It will be a daily reminder that he is a failure, and crush him just a little bit more. Extra bonus points if you never cut a want ad out for yourself, never submit a resume, never go to an interview, and when he does finally get a job, additional bonus points if you complain because it does not pay enough. Extra bonus points if you have a Master's Degree. If there is one time in his life that he needs a friend, be sure not to be it.

8. Never, Never, Never give him the idea that he might be attractive to women. If he tries to lose weight, buy a bowl of candy and put it on the counter. If he joins a gym, starts running, or otherwise works out, tell him to stop. He needs that voice in his head to tell him to give up. If he starts combing his hair differently, wearing deodorant, and getting some tight jeans that will fit, laugh at him.

9. Kill his social life. Do not allow him to have friends. If he goes out without you, complain. If it looks like he is having fun, look down your nose at him. Extra points if you go to book club, bunco, and Ladies Night out yourself at least once a month.

10. Always pick the movie. Always pick the TV show. Always pick the restaurant. If he does suggest something, once a year, agree, and then complain about absolutely everything that happens all night, including how you do not like the car he drives, the clothes he is wearing, or anything else. This will crush his confidence and discourage him from initiating anything for the next year. Never say anything positive. This goes double for anything related to (6) above.

Ben and the TV ratings

Does anybody see that the Roethlisberger thing is about ratings? Tiger Woods' return to the Masters caused an increase in TV ratings by 45 percent.

Goodell and his TV consultant made the calculation: How can we use this to attract the biggest TV audience possible? Bring him back just in time for them to play the defending super bowl champs. Would have been probably the highest rated evening game of the year anyway because of the Steelers' national popularity, but now, it has a chance to be the record NFL night game for TV audience. The alternatives, a few weeks before and after, the "punishment" would have been roughly as severe, but the benefit to the league from the standpoint of all of the publicity would have been less...

So Bravo to them for what looks like a pretty solid business plan.

As to the moral outrage, if they had been really serious, they would have thrown him out of the league permanently, thus serving as an example for others.... there are plenty of pigs and thugs now playing in the NFL... the last several years there have been shootings and plenty of other incidents....

As it is, they can use this to enhance the soap-opera quality of their product, attract viewers (Ben haters) that would otherwise ignore it, and use it to enhance their revenue....This is almost a WWE-type scenario, I believe. Life imitating art once again

Why is Larry King so popular with Women?

Knockout women, too....

"Larry is hot!" Joy Behar said on Thursday's "The View." "He's a sex machine, OK? It's running on kerosene, but still."

There must be something about Larry King that draws in beautiful women because he definitely dates lookers. In the past, he has been connected to Angie Dickinson and beauty queen Rama Fox.

"My mother in law made me realize that this guy had something that women found very attractive," Paul Levinson, a professor of communications and media studies at Fordham University, told ABCNews.com. "She listened to him religiously in the early '80s before he had a television show. She would stay up all night just listening to him on the radio."

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/ladies-love-larry-king-talk-titan-attracts-women/story?id=10387408

So many questions: First of all, he is rich and generous. Is that enough? He makes his living interviewing the most famous people in the world, so you know he is at ease with absolutely anybody, that can have its advantages since, as we all know, confidence is very attractive to women. He obviously has the knack of getting people to talk about themselves, which we all know that women like. The sex? my guess is that it is not just that. It's the whole Larry King experience. Anyone with some insight please feel free to contribute.

Big Ben Awaits his Fine

PITTSBURGH (AP)—NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says he will decide soon whether to punish Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger(notes) for his off-the-field troubles.

“I think he understands how important the personal-conduct policy is to the NFL,” Goodell said while attending a dinner honoring Steelers chairman Dan Rooney on Wednesday night. “And I hope he has a better understanding of how important it is for everybody in the league.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=AhmDLdlXgDSnKG0GzCl9SNZDubYF?slug=ap-goodell-roethlisberger

So your two time super bowl winner, who otherwise might end up in the hall of fame, is in a heap of trouble. There are several questions:

First, if Ben was black, would his treatment be any different.
Secondly, if Ben was a second stringer on a bad team, rather than starter on one of the most widely followed teams, would his treatment be any different?

There was no doubt a business transaction involved between Ben, Ben's agent, and the drunk Milledgeville chick that was involved. She appears to have hit the lottery.... cry rape, get a payout.....you can possibly become famous later on, if you are lucky. So, this is a no-lose situation for her.

For the league, they have no other choice than to make some kind of gesture to penalize him. They have to have the appearance of not condoning this kind of activity but secretly they know that this is entertainment and there is no such thing as bad publicity. So ultimately, they will be just fine.

For Ben: Ben is another adrenaline junkie, just as surely as Tiger Woods is.... What do you do for excitement when you are 27-ish and have already won a couple of super bowls, particularly since they will not let you operate your motorcycle anymore...His problem is, he aimed his sights too low.... He can afford higher-class company rather than some drunk bar chick in a low end college town in a low-end state. That's his real mistake, isn't it?

http://d.yimg.com/a/p/sp/capress/0f/thumbe.74b30049abdd275e725fd66ef408b220/capress-fbn_roethlisberger_investigation-1215252147.jpg

There are no losers....

The numbers are in, and Tiger was a big success. The TV ratings were up 47 percent, and so despite being a little distracted, everyone is a winner. The PGA is delighted, the TV network is delighted, and Nike is brilliant despite a little maringally sleazy advertising featuring Tiger's dad....

Even the little Swedish chick is a winner.

Bruce Springsteen/Ann Kelly

http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/w0002201.html

A New Jersey businessman who accused his wife of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen has settled the estranged couple's divorce battle. Arthur Kelly's claims that his wife Ann "committed adultery" with Springsteen turned his messy divorce into a media event.

So.....

Here is a scenario for you. You are a 45 year old housewife, your husband Arthur has put on a lot of weight and gotten a lot more controlling since you were married. This slug spends all of his time on the couch, with his hand stuck down his pants watching reruns of CSI, while you are down at the gym, sweating your butt off, to look just as rockin' as you did when you were 25.

He has all sorts of little medical problems, sleep apnea, hemorrhoids, prostate, a lot of that stuff is just from sitting around and complaining about you. Sex? That's a good one.

So you are down at the gym and this hot older fellow is next to you on the treadmill. You strike up a conversation, maybe you see each other there every few days, you like him and you can see that he likes you. You strike up a bit of a relationship, maybe you do yoga together occasionally, and at some point he says, "have you ever heard of Bruce Springsteen" .....

The point: When are we going to give women the same permission we give men.?If you take care of yourself, and you love sex, which some women do, and you are not getting what you need at home, why not? If she is 45 her kids are maybe in their late teens, you hope they are thinking "way to go, mom"....

New Tiger Mistress Emerges

In the latest Tiger Woods update, there's a new alleged mistress in the Tiger Woods' sex scandal, and the timing couldn't seem stranger. Raychel Coudriet who is Tiger Woods neighbor affair, is the latest woman to come forward. According to the alleged reports, Coudriet and Woods had sex when she was 21 years old in his office, but Woods had known her since she was 14. Coudriet admits to having a "schoolgirl crush" on Woods, but later feeling guilty for sleeping with him. She says when she confronted Tiger recently about this, he apologized for that.

http://news.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978161518&nav=Groupspace

Another comes forward, presumably hoping for a bit of a payday as Tiger is approaching the top of the leaderboard at Augusta

Isn't this touching?

Isn't this touching? Here is the first step at Nike actually trying to capitalize on this whole mess. Now, all Tiger needs to do is win a tournament or two, and all of the fat executives who buy his gear will get out their wallets.

Does anyone honestly believe that Tiger has changed his stripes in the course of four months? Some people do, evidently.

Sandra Bullock and the Sex Tape

Here is my theory about Sandra: She is a bit hung up on the sex thing. She does not go in for the videos, what else does she not go in for? Maybe she dislikes leaving the light on. Maybe she insists the dog be on the bed. Maybe she is a bit conventional for Jesse.

Being in a relationship where there are different sex preferences means that both of the partners are not getting their needs met. If this is the case, the affair thing is not at all shocking, is it?