Depression and Hypersexuality

I thought of this conversation the other day when I bumped into this forum thread:

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/Hypersexual

and there is a lot of literature associating depression and bipolar disorder with hypersexuality.....

In this article, there is reference to hypersexuality being a side effect of some of the treatment for Parkinson's...

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/558276

What I'm saying here is: There may be some other really compelling reason that a person might feel driven to go out and find some physical gratification outside the home....

In my limited experience a lot of these people also have a precipitating event: death, family crisis, other trauma, which might trigger some level of depression.... either the depression itself or the drugs used to treat it are not unheard of to cause a change in sex drive.....and it is pretty clear where this might lead....

Re: Rules for Husbands

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/rnr/1756999451.html

1. Yeah, flowers=love. You work for years and years, taking crap from a halfwit boss, dealing with office politics, and having your brain and body slowly turn into styrofoam trying to put your woman in a house that she can be proud of, you have a fleet of cars in your driveway for her and the kids, you put a big screen TV in her living room and a nice big couch where she can plop down on her wide tail with the remote and watch Oprah talk about how easy men have it, and if you don't buy flowers, it means you don't love her. I get it.

2. Date night: On the way out the door, she said "are you really wearing that?", She complained about the nice, paid for, low mileage car that I am driving, which, I might add, I drive so that I can afford to let her drive the nice one.. She complained about the traffic. She complained about the restaurant being too cold. The food was too spicy. The entertainment was not very good. Yawn, I'm about ready to go home..... Well, it was a real pleasure for me too, miss sunshine..... It's encouragement like that that makes me look forward to every date night.

3. Fat ass: Well, I have no use personally for anyone who calls his wife fatass, but if she puts on her Freshman 15, and then on another 75 popping out your second kid, and then keeps it on for 25 years, while you are at the gym or running trying to stay in some kind of shape, there ought to be some way to communicate to your significant other that she got a little flabby....and really ought to do something about it, rather than sit around and talk about how comfortable she is in her skin, and calling herself a BBW.....

4. D and V, I will have to remember that one. I think it's about 50/50 personally.

5. Sex? Overrated? After 40? Well it all comes down to the partner of course. It is probably true that the male reaches his peak at 18, it's also true that a fit male can still functioning perfectly normally about 10 years longer at the other end of life..... Problem: If you are nagged like a 6-year old during the day, it's hard to act like the stud you are at night.....

6. Menopause? I think that's from the Greek.... meaning "just lay there for a few minutes and it'll be over with before you know it".....

7. Walking fast in public..... I have to say I find myself doing this all the time, being the marathoner, triathloner and weightlifter that I am, but I am always a bit entertained about how long it takes the woman to get into and also out of the car ref: Item 3 above. I suppose it takes awhile to get moving. There's a solution, of course....cut down on the Rocky Road and you will be a little speedier.

8. Cooking.... where to start on this one: best to just let it lie. Not all men are incompetent, boring cooks..... and not all women are brilliant at it either. My main gripe: Me: When is dinner: Her: Six. Me: Okay. I go out for an hour, come back in at 6: Me; Where is dinner: Her: Haven't started it yet. Me: Why? Her: I did not think you would show up at 6. I can start it now. Me: I thought you said it is going to be at 6. Her: Yes.

9. Mixed Messages/Special Occasions: Well, throughout the first 6000 years of human history it was pretty special for a woman to be treated to a nice roof over her head, and some food in the place, and in the modern era, the rest of the package, per the above...It used to be and still is common in some cultures for them to be smacked around a bit for stepping out of line. Around these parts, just a century ago, it was the "barefoot and pregnant" theory.... they were one notch up from property, not even sometimes......So here we are in the modern day, of course we expect a little bit of contribution, but we are still pretty far from "I am woman hear me roar" where everything is completely equal......In either case... I suppose the 364 days of being treated in a way that for women, is the best in human history, is not quite enough to offset the occasional missed birthday or other invention of the Hallmark company or the Rose Grower's association that causes me to feel obligated to go out and buy something to convey my affection. Sorry about that. I'll do better next year.

10. What if the rules don't work? Well, I suppose there are options. To tell the honest truth, I think that once the kids get out the door, marriage ought to be a 1-year option, like it is in the NBA.... If the wife did not want to be dumped in favor of a stripper, she'd stay in shape, treat you like a man, be thankful for the work he did to get you to that point, and be a little better partner. It would do a world of good for the men too. Too many of them are fatass know it alls, with erectile dysfunction and sleep apnea, a lot of that stuff is also caused by being out of shape. If you knew you were likely to get dumped at the end of the year you might try a little harder. At a certain point in her life, a lot of women put up with crap from men because they think they have to, not because they want to..... maybe not so much for the men. Either way, if you had to go to some effort to re-attract your spouse, could you? .....Either way there are alternatives....

Rules for Husbands

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/rnr/1756107120.html


Follow these simple rules for a happy marriage! Easy as pie...remember though don't get discouraged if it isn't effective the first or fifth year of marriage, keep at it and be persistent...eventually it will pay off.

1. From day one of marriage, (contrary to popular belief) never send your wife flowers. Doing so can cause a woman to become harsh and mean. She will eventually evolve to expect this behaviour once every couple months and this is not good for obvious reasons. $ on flowers = less $ on beer. **Note: At all costs, avoid sending your wife flowers at work. Showing them off to friends(especially friends at work with flowers on their desk) will create a very hateful wife.

2. Avoid any opportunity to have a date with your wife, especially a date where there is a PDA. (public display of affection) PDA + date= bitch.

3. No matter your attractiveness or the size and shape of your wife, call her a fat ass at any given opportunity. Early morning hours work best. Women love this. She will be running up to you in a matter of minutes to hug and kiss you as a reward. You may find at first in following this rule your wife will want to run out in rebellion and eat something really fattening like a hot fudge sundae or burrito. Ignore this and continue on until you get your hugs and kisses as a reward.

4. Always remember the D and V rule....having a dick makes you right, having a vagina makes you wrong. This applies in ALL circumstances. Make sure you let your wife know how much you love her by living by this rule. You will reap the rewards....

5. Sex is overrated, at least when you hit 40 it is. You see, men go through their sexual peak at age 18, women between 32 and 38. But sex isn't important to women, just men...at a certain age that is. Us men have already hit our peak and climbed it well, and often...remember when you were 18-25...I do. That was fun, but over now. Whether your wife is 20 or 30, remember accommodating her at this time of her life will make her feel weak and therefore she will turn nasty in a heartbeat. You see she will get mood swings when she gets too much sex. This can't be explained here... until you live the mood swings, you will just have to take my word for it. Withhold and ignore.

6. At some point in your marriage your wife will enter a stage of "menopause" OR she will enter a stage in her life where her hormones become...shall we say "out of whack?" Anyway, this is due to various reasons. If you want to know and familiarize yourself with them, you can find loads of info on Google. I always say, "hormones, smourmones." Your wife really doesn't want to fall prey to hormones and be miserable and irritable, so ignore the problem, call her a bitch, often. Eventually, and I say eventually, the hormones will straighten out. Don't show any concern though or extra attention, especially disobeying rules 1-5. Doing so will cause unwanted irritability.

7. While in public walk really fast and stay steadily paced ahead of your wife. Show your embarrassment to be seen with her. Never introduce her to anyone you know should you run into such a person. This technique dates back to the early ages or even several middle eastern countries this present day and has had proven effectiveness in a long, healthy marriage.

8. Cooking for your wife always keeps her happy. Most women LOVE hamburgers, so cook them often. Especially important: never cook anything she would choose herself.

9. Remember, women love mixed messages. There are two ways to handle special occasions, completely forget or refer to rule 3 and then every time a gift occasion comes up,(Christmas, birthdays, Valentines Day or anniversaries) buy her a 5lb box of chocolates or take her to an all you can eat buffet. She will probably eat mostly salad, so when she gets a bite of real food say something like, " You are gonna eat all that?" She won't be able to keep her hands off of you. Have a fun ride home!

10. Rule number 10, probably should be rule 1, but it makes a better finish. Be very cautious and watch for signs that these rules aren't working for you. My technique works 90 % of the time, (refer to rule 4) but if you happened to be one of the rare 10% of men who did not get lucky enough to marry a cave woman, following these rules could have detrimental effects. If at any time during the first several years you see opposite results, stop and reverse the rules. Continue on reversed rules. The effects shouldn't shouldn't take too long to diminish. If they don't diminish in 4 weeks, threaten physical violence.

Good Luck and Happy Marriage!!!

"The Happy Husband"

***Three marriages strong, I speak from experience!!! It works!!

!

Jenny and Dr. Phil

So what's the story. This is purely conjecture, of course.

First of all, it is clear that Jenny is the brains of the gang.

You can envision a conversation, laying on a college lawn somewhere, with Mark Sanford. Sanford, Mr. Congenial Frat Boy with a political pedigree, Jenny, the brains of the gang, perfectly willing to ride her famous husband's coat tails up to the Presidency, and if not that, as high as possible...


So they go to work, Jenny leaves her job as VP of a Virginia law firm, and becomes Sanford's wife/advisor. She pops out the requisite kids (five, so as to impress the right to lifers) she looks good in the photo ops, and behind the scenes she is the chief of staff, and everything else as he gets his career off the ground, first in the US congress, then as governor. As a Republican from a southern state, he touches all of the requisite bases, goes to the prayer meetings and everything else he needs to do to tap into the resources of the Bob Jones set.....

The rest of the story is pretty well known. Sanford takes a boondoggle trip to Argentina, and falls for a local TV reporter, they begin the affair, he takes off in the middle of everything last summer, disappears, and later admits the whole thing, giving Jon Stewart more opportunities.

Since then Jenny dumps him, both are now dating, he has recently had another meeting with her in Key West.....

So what happened?

Is it not clear that those two formed an alliance, early in their lives which satisfied the needs of both? Mark needed a strong partner/brains, and she needed a way to catapult into a position of power. The model for this type of relationship is Bill and Hillary, and it is clear of course that exactly the same outcome happened......

But what Mark needed when he was a young man was quite different from what he needed as a middle aged man. He needed someone to laugh and play with, to admire him, to tell him he was sexy. Possibly someone just a bit less intense. Someone who would giggle at his jokes. Was Jenny going to do that? My guess is, just looking at her interview, was that she was pretty intense. Just speculation, but you can see a situation where he could have even been infantilized: She is used to bossing around those five boys, Sanford was the sixth. Probably ticked him off......

So, when he got the opportunity, he took it.

Now, was that fair to Jenny? First of all, she is bright, and the fame caused by this incident has launched her into a potential career of her own..... She bought into the strategy, knowing in her heart that particularly as a Republican it is potentially easier to get into a position of power in this way rather than shake hands at barbecues for decades like a man would have to. So, it was 95 percent calculating..

Chances are Mark, being congenial, was hesitant to have the heart to heart talk that they needed to have to fix the problem. Not much time for intimacy if you are a governor.

As to what Sanford actually did, run off to see the chick in Argentina, this was spectacularly stupid. He'd have been much better off trying to find a local trusted partner, could have kept the whole thing under wraps better, and would have been much better off. Possibly Jenny would have let the whole thing go on, a la Hillary, if it was potentially helpful to their joint careers....

So that's the story. What was a successful partnership early in their careers had gaps, Mark was not getting what he needed at home, and the rest, as they say, is for Dr. Phil to figure out.

What to do when you know your best friend is cheating...

http://hubpages.com/hub/What-to-do-When-you-Know-Your-Best-Friend-is-Cheating

It depends on the friend...

Sometimes, cheating is not a sign of strength, it is a sign of weakness. Someone is not getting what they need out of their relationship, they cannot, for one reason or another get what they need from the other spouse and in a lot of these cases, they give up and go elsewhere. It's a sign of desperation.

They can't or won't leave the relationship for some reason, possibly economic, so it is possible that the person feels trapped.

It is also possible that the other person in the relationship has undergone some change. You have no idea what is going on behind closed doors.

So to shun a "friend" as totally untrustworthy, for having this affair, without completely understanding whether or not it is out of character, and not placing yourself in their shoes, is a rush to judgment.

It is quite possible that this friend is in pain and instead needs a little support.